


Selfish Desires

by Liz_87



Category: Casualty (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:34:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24539314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liz_87/pseuds/Liz_87
Summary: Duffy wants what she knows she can't have... Series 14.
Relationships: Lisa "Duffy" Duffin/Charlie Fairhead
Kudos: 3





	Selfish Desires

After getting changed into her uniform she found herself staring at her reflection in the mirror, pondering what the hell had gotten into her recently. She was a married woman and yet she had slept with two of her colleagues in the previous few months. Sure, she and Charlie had history but they'd agreed to call it quits. She laughed, a slightly bitter tone colouring the sound. What a joke that was! It hadn't taken much for him to charm her into being putty in his hands once again. She should feel angry with herself but she didn't. No-one made her feel the way he did, she felt so alive and loved with him. She drew herself up straight, a small smile playing on her lips. She nodded at her reflection, turned on her heel and strode out the room.

As she walked through the department, Duffy noticed that Charlie was sat in his office. Without knocking she walked in, closing the door behind her and leaning back against it. He glanced up, a puzzled look on his face as he observed her.

"About earlier..." She began.

"Look, I know what you're going to say so I'll save you the bother. It was a one-off, it shouldn't have happened and it's never going to happen again..."

"Charlie..." She attempted to speak again but he continued as though he hadn't even heard her. 

"I've heard it all before and frankly I'm tired of it all. So let's just carry on with our lives and not bother with the awkward excuses conversation." 

"Charlie will just shut up and bloody listen for one minute!" She said, her voice beginning to rise in order to get his attention. Seeing that he was finally listening, she continued, "I agree, I'm sick of the awkward excuses conversation too. So how about instead of that we discuss the awkward truths instead? I'll go first..." She took a deep breath. "I love you Charlie Fairhead. I want to be with you and knowing I can't tears me apart inside." She paused and waiting anxiously for his response. He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times without uttering a word, his eyes wide with shock.

Finally Charlie gathered his thoughts enough to speak. "You, you, love me?" He stammered. "But why did you..?"

"He flirted with me, made me feel special..." She couldn't look him in the eyes. "I thought you didn't care about me anymore."

"But you said... We agreed not to... I gave you space because I thought that's what you wanted! Now you're saying that all this time... Duffy!" He rubbed his forehead, she was giving him a headache.

"I thought it was too. I convinced myself it was for the best. That we'd just end up hurting everyone around us if we let things continue." She looked up. "I'm sorry." 

Charlie sighed. "So what now? Where do we go from here?" 

"I don't know, I just felt you deserved the truth." 

"I offered you everything Duffy. You and the boys. I was willing to do anything but you said no."

"And that's a regret I have to live with Charlie. I can't seperate the boys from their father to satisfy my own selfish desires."

"A father who has cheated on their mother countless times!" He shot back. 

"That doesn't make what we've done ok." 

"So you are telling me 'never again' then?" 

"Yes! No! Oh, I don't know. Urgh!" She lent her head back against the door with a bang. "I just can't do this any more!" She ran from the room, the door slamming behind her. 

Charlie shook his head, a small smile on his lips. He was certain he'd never truly understand her but at the same time he knew that once she'd calmed down a bit she'd be back, it was just a matter of time and patience.


End file.
